Sleepless Nights
by x3Air
Summary: Where Misaki decides to take a late night walk after a nightmare and Kai decides to do the same after a fight with a friend. Rated T for the moment, may change. Kai x Misaki


AN: Hey all, so this is my first work on this site and well, I play vanguard. So I have a few pairings that I really liked and decided to write fanfictions about them :D I decided to start with this pairing since there isn't much on Kai x Misaki, I hope you all find my work satisfactory. Please excuse any OOC-ness if there happens to be any, I tried my best to keep them in check QAQ

If there're any suggestions or advice or comments, feel free to review :D I welcome all reviews and constructive criticism, I really want to improve my writing so please help me!

Also, I will be keeping this as a oneshot for the moment, unless people want me to continue this story, and then i'll make it a twoshot or something. Just a small heads up that if I continue there might be mature content in the next chapter.

Thank you for helping me out and I hope you enjoy my fanfiction! :D

- Air

* * *

It was a late afternoon at the beginning of autumn. She could tell not only because the trees were starting to noticeably lose their green, but because of the whiff of cold air that she breathed in every few moments, lingered with the smell of crisp leaves, and the tingling sensation everyone gets at the beginning of autumn. It won't be long before the trees would burst into fiery colours, and the fallen leaves would carpet the ground with shades of red and gold.

She watched a couple of young children gather some leaves that were already in their autumn shades, hearing them exclaim about how pretty they were, and in the late autumn these kids would probably be frolicking with the fallen leaves. Back there, the others would probably be glad that it was autumn too, this year's summer was particularly hot and everyone was welcoming the cooler weather.

Everyone but her.

As beautiful as autumn may be, she was never fond of the season, and neither did she like cold weather. She could never sleep properly in autumn or just rainy nights even, they were always sleepless nights. During rainy autumn nights it was the worse. The dreams of that night were so vivid, it seemed like she was actually back there again. That night when her parents died.

Even if she had gotten over vanguard triggering those dreams, and started playing with love for the card game, that doesn't mean that she still doesn't think about her parents every now and then even if she tries not to. Even after she had put away the deck that her parents gave her, her precious full moon deck, that doesn't mean that she doesn't remember every time she modified her new decks. All of this, the smiles and laughter, the fun times, all of that doesn't mean she has forgotten that night, that she doesn't grieve over it anymore.

Shin was right about the card game helping to make her life better. He was right that it had helped her make more friends. Aichi, Kamui, Kai and the rest… They all helped her open up a little more, helped her to smile a little more, live a little more, laugh a little more. Even so, there was nothing to chase away the dreams that haunted her every autumn night, to make her feel safe. All she could do was curl up in her blanket and cry silently through the night, and wake up to find that she only had an hour or two of sleep.

It was horrible, having the dreams torment her almost every night. But she pressed on without saying anything to anyone, she didn't want them to think that she was weak. After breaking down and crying in front of them back then, it was embarrassing to think if she had another one of those incidents.

Misaki sighed as she walked back to the cardshop, a scarf thrown in along with her outfit to warm herself. There wasn't any point in pondering about this any longer, she just hoped that tonight would be better.

Entering the cardshop, there were several cries of "Call!", "Attack!" and "Ride!" The usual for the cardshop anyway, but she couldn't help thinking it was rather noisy for the beginning of autumn. She sort of expected the cardshop to be rather empty today, but apparently not.

"Misaki-san!" A voice called out from within the shop as she placed down her bags along with the stuff Shin had asked her to buy. She scratched the Assistant Manager behind his ear, smiling a little as he purred, before heading towards the back of the shop, using Aichi's blue hair as a guide line amongst the crowd.

"Perfect defence with Isolde!" Aichi's voice sounded again and the young girl realised he was in the midst of a vanguard fight with someone. Pushing her way through the crowd, she managed to get through just in time to see the younger boy fighting against another one of their teammates, or at least she thought so. He was originally part of their team but he switched a few times such that she wasn't really sure anymore.

"I add five thousand power to Nehalem, and with a boost from Bhar, attack your vanguard." He calmly stated, turning a card on the field sideways without hesitation, three cards fanned out neatly in his hand. Misaki observed as Aichi frantically looked at the one card in his hand before taking the last damage which flipped over to be Blonde Ezel. Apparently he didn't get a good ride this game.

"Nice game!" Kamui shouted from the side lines before pushing Aichi away in a friendly manner, "Now my turn! I'm gonna beat you today I swear!" He yelled energetically as he slammed down his deck and drew five cards almost immediately before Kai could even decide whether he should play or not.

Aichi gave a laugh before approaching her, "Misaki-san, do you want to play?" He asked with a bright smile, holding out his deck. She looked at the deck in an unsure manner, before reaching for hers. Although she didn't really feel like playing, perhaps just one round, maybe one round would make her feel better… Glancing at the deck she took out, Aichi led her to a nearby empty table, and set down his deck. Unsteadily, she set down her deck as well; still unsure of whether she should play.

She finally decided against playing, but Aichi had already drawn five cards. Misaki sighed and decided to just play, since she was already sitting down and all. "Stand up, Vanguard, Supple Bamboo Princess Kaguya."

She regretted not trying to back out , the match turned out to be a mess, she couldn't concentrate properly, and when she did, the cards in her hand weren't pretty enough to defend or counterattack. Worse of all, everyone could all see that there was something wrong with her, Kamui and Kai were looking at her from the opposite table, Kamui's expression bewildered. Shin and Emi glanced over in concern, and even the Assistant Manager looked in curiosity.

Standing up abruptly after she watched her last damage fall into place, Misaki gathered up her cards. "I'm sorry; I just don't feel too well." She said quietly before retreating up to her apartment upstairs. She could feel their worried stares on her back, the concern they felt for her, but she ignored them. She didn't like the feeling of having someone worry for her; it was almost demoralizing to feel.

Once in her room, she took out her old deck that was hidden away in her drawer and sat down heavily unto her bed. Gazing at the dark blue glittering surface of the card, she traced the outline of what used to be her avatar. The small girl with dark hair and kind red eyes smiled brightly up at her, and for a moment everything felt okay. Lying down on the bed, she cradled the card gently, and eventually fell asleep.

* * *

Lightning flashed, and the rain poured down relentlessly. She was beside her child-self, staring at a car wreck in horror, watching the flames devour it hungrily, flickering against the night sky. This car wreck was the one that happened so many years ago. Looking frantically to the left and then to the right, she watched in disbelief as bystanders just stared and did nothing. Hearing a cry, she realized that her child-self had broken down and was crying into Shin's clothes. There was a loud smash, and then turning back to the car, she realized that not only the flames were devouring the car, the ground had started to cave in as well. Then she was falling, screaming, tumbling into the never ending darkness, her child-self's cries echoing over and over again in her head.

* * *

Bolting up straight, Misaki gasped for air as she stared at the blank wall opposite her. A bead of cold sweat trickled down her forehead, but she didn't notice, her eyes were still caught up in the nightmare, rewinding everything that she just saw. The room was deathly quiet, and she thought that she could still hear her child-self's cries.

A soft sound seemed to break her out of her trance, and she watched as a vanguard card fluttered to the ground facedown. Seeming to realize what it was, Misaki fumbled to get out of bed and retrieve her precious card, and somehow because of the nightmare, she was convinced that something bad must've happened to the card too. However, much to her relief, the card was still fine, unscratched and undamaged. The dark haired girl with kind red eyes continued to smile brightly at her and it was only then that she realized that it was dark outside. She must've slept in.

Sitting down on the cold ground floor for a moment, Misaki glanced at her messed bed before looking at the time. It was ten thirty at night, but she didn't want to go back to bed, not after what she had just experienced. She was also a little hungry, but all the shopping that she had did today were all household items and cat food. Perhaps she could take a trip down to the convenience stall and buy something…

Walking down the desolate street, Misaki felt colder than ever. Or maybe it was just because she felt lonely. Everyone had their close friends. Kamui had his two friends, even as retarded as they might be. Aichi had Kourin, Emi and Naoki, that guy seemed to make friends wherever he goes, provided that he isn't shy during that point of time. Kai… Although that guy was colder then she was, smiled lesser and interacted the least out of everyone, he still had Miwa and she was pretty sure he would be happier alone either way.

Pondering about him for a moment, she realized that she didn't actually know much about Kai, that guy was a total mystery. Other than the fact that she knew he knows how to cook a little, she didn't really know anything else besides that. His likes, dislikes, why he just randomly disappears at random intervals, so on and so forth. It kind of bugged her curiosity, but she shook it off, it wasn't like she was going to take time to find out anyway.

Entering the 24 hour convenience stall, she scanned the rows of food, looking for something that she felt like eating. Chancing upon some instant cup ramen, she decided to pick that.

It was only until the cashier asked for 150 yen and she checked her pocket, did she realize that she had forgotten to bring her wallet out. Frantically searching her jacket for some change or some money that she might have forgotten to take out, she fumbled around before giving up. About to tell the cashier to forget it and walk out of the stall quickly to avoid embarrassment, she saw from the corner of her eye a movement and realized someone was reaching over her shoulder to hand the cashier money for her item.

Turning around quickly, she came face to face with someone she wasn't expecting to see out so late at night. Raising an eyebrow, she received the instant ramen noodles from him and saw that he was also buying a cup.

"I didn't expect you would be out so late." She commented after they walked to the hot water counter together. Honestly speaking, throughout the whole time they had spent together, she hardly recalled ever talking to him really, and she doubted that she had even said his name more than three times.

"You too." He replied simply and held his hand out for the cup ramen she was holding.

"Just out for a midnight snack?" She asked as she handed the ramen over and watched him fill it with hot water.

"Somewhat." He said, handing the boiling hot cup of instant ramen back to her. "You?"

"Somewhat." She replied, taking it back carefully, holding it by the rim. There was a moment as she watched the boy with hazel coloured hair work on his own ramen thoughtfully before looking away and coughing a little. "Um, do you want to… Eat together?" She asked a little hesitantly, glancing back at him.

His expression looked almost surprised.

"Okay."

* * *

"You're not out here just because you're hungry right?" Misaki asked quietly, brushing away a wisp of hair that had been blown across her face by the autumn wind.

They ate together, but they didn't talk, it was just silence until now. However the silence that they shared was different. It wasn't awkward like the silence she might share with Aichi or Kamui, wasn't something unnerving like the silence she might have with someone she didn't know very well. This silence, it felt comfortable. It was as if that they didn't need to talk to actually feel okay with each other, or maybe it was just because of their quiet natures.

"Kind of." He replied, staring up at the sky.

They had made their way to the neighbourhood playground, he was sitting on the steps leading up to the slide, and she was sitting on top of the slide. The cup noodles were empty now, sitting beside each of them.

"You too." He said again, turning his head back to look at her.

"What's your reason?" She asked, returning the glance. His eyes were a piercing dark turquoise, searching her face for something she couldn't make out.

Eventually he looked away again, as if he couldn't find what he was looking for. There was a pause before he replied, "none of your business."

"I thought so." Misaki closed her eyes and smiled a little, this was typical of Kai really. He didn't tell anyone about his problems or anything really, not even the closest of his friends. He was usually cold and seemed heartless, but everyone could tell he has a soft spot for Aichi, there were even some rumours going around that he was gay for him, but Misaki herself didn't bother with these trivial matters.

"When do you plan on heading back?" He suddenly asked, looking up at the sky.

"Who knows?" She shrugged, her eyes still closed. She tilted her head a little and looked behind again, the movement causing her light lavender hair to tumble over her shoulder as she did so. Opening her eyes slowly she looked up at him, "how about you?"

"Not anytime soon." He said after looking away.

There was a moment as Misaki observed him for a while. Although from afar he looked okay, and he seemed like his usual self, there was something about him that wasn't right. The look in his eye, normally it was just aloof and uncaring. But now, she could see a hint of distress, and maybe she was imagining it, but perhaps care? Maybe something had happened with him as well? After all she didn't think he was the type to hang out late.

"I don't exactly feel like going back." She admitted after a moment. Misaki wasn't one to share her feelings with people, not because she didn't trust them or anything, but she was scared that they might think of her as weak. However, with Kai… He was a nonchalant person, usually nothing really concerned him. It might just be okay to talk to him.

"You were… A little off today." The older male commented.

"Autumn isn't really my season." She replied.

He glanced at her again somewhat questioningly.

There was a moment as Misaki decided on whether to confide in him, and eventually she decided that it was okay. After all, Kai didn't join in gossip and didn't tell anyone anything. "My parents died during autumn." She mumbled quietly. "It makes it hard for me to sleep sometimes."

"That's an understatement." Kai finally said after a long pause.

"Huh?"

"Have you looked at yourself in the mirror recently?"

She gave him a mild questioning look, she didn't happen to see any difference in her appearance this morning when she had washed up.

Kai sighed. "You look like you've lost weight, you've grown paler, and I've noticed that you're developing dark eye circles, even if they're not that obvious yet." He stated as he closed his eyes. "You probably haven't even been sleeping for more than three hours for the past few days."

"Well I'm sorry I didn't notice!" Misaki huffed as she brought her knees up and hugged them. "It's not like I didn't want to sleep."

There was a soft amused sound, and when she turned back, Kai was smiling a little. She blinked, almost in disbelief, it was hard to think that Kai Toshiki would smile at something so trivial such as this, the last time he smiled was when Aichi saved the world and his clan.

"Anyway, I've told you my reason, how about you?" She finally said after she realized that that was going to be Kai's only response.

There was a short pause as Kai silently debated on whether to tell her or not in return, and after ten seconds Misaki was pretty sure he was not going to answer, but then he sighed. "I had a little bit of an argument with Miwa, I just wanted to get it off my head so I went out for a walk."

"Miwa?" Misaki turned around now. Kai and Miwa, she would never have imagined that they would fight over something, Miwa was such an easy-going guy, he was always giving in to people and never pushed for anything... Plus the fact that Kai never really did care about anything besides his cards, for both of them to have a fight over something, it must've been pretty important. "What did you guys fight about?"

Kai shot her a glance for a moment, and then there was another silence as he searched her face.

"I won't push if you don't want to tell you know, it's not like I care or anything." Misaki gave him a weird look.

"It's not that, it's just that…" Kai closed his eyes and looked away, frowning as he stopped in his tracks, running a hand through his hair. He seemed exasperated and really distressed all of a sudden to the younger girl's surprise.

"It's just that…"

"It's just that…?" She asked quietly, encouraging him.

"You know how Miwa feels towards you right." Kai finally said, his agitated voice calming down to a soft quiet.

"Yeah somewhat, I've heard." Misaki sat back against the panel beside the slide, facing Kai. She knew that Miwa had feelings for her, at first it was really discreet and no one really knew, but these few days it had become quite obvious. She didn't really want to admit that she knew and feigned ignorance, life was so much easier without unreciprocated feelings. "What about it?"

For some reason, her chest felt tight while she waited for his answer, she had noticed that his hand had tensed and his body had stiffened. It was probably a gut feeling, but she couldn't help it. It wasn't possible right? She never thought about it, but it wasn't possible. Perhaps they had a fight about something else regarding the matter, perhaps it was something completely different where Miwa's feelings contributed to the argument. She hated to admit it, but the tension was slowly eating her out from the inside, and her heartbeat quickened as she forced herself to wait for Kai's answer.

"We had a fight," he started slowly, seeming to choose his words with care. He turned back to look at her, and she suddenly realized the little distance they had between them. "Because I feel the same way about you."

For a moment it seemed like time had stopped, and Misaki almost forgot to breathe.

What? Kai, Kai Toshiki, had feelings for… her? No wait, there had to be some mistake here. She didn't think that- It wasn't possible that- He couldn't have- Did she hear wrongly?

The thoughts whirled around her head wildly and she blinked, staring intently at Kai. "Sorry?"

"I like you." He said in a gruff voice.

She continued to stare.

She had never really thought of Kai in that way. Sure she knew he was a good guy, handsome to a certain extent, but she had never really noticed him in that sort of way. Perhaps once or twice occasionally, but she had never thought about her feelings towards him much. Misaki searched his face for any expressions that might hint that this was a joke, or something, but honestly speaking, she didn't think Kai would joke around like this.

She sat back and scratched her head while keeping her bewildered eyes on the older boy, but it was no longer because of his confession. She had never taken her feelings further then a friend for anyone, she had boys in school confessing to her, it was almost too easy to say no, but this time, it was like her head was so muddled she couldn't even say no.

It was almost like she actually had feelings for him in return.

"I… Don't really know what to say here." Misaki admitted after gathering her thoughts.

Kai didn't seem to show much response to her answer, but she thought she saw a slight shadow of disappointment in his eyes, although it was gone so fast she wasn't sure if it had really been there.

"Tell me how you feel?" He suggested, as if this was some casual conversation they were having.

"The thing is…" Misaki looked down, feeling the blood rush up to her cheeks. "I don't know how I feel towards you."

"It's like, I never really thought about you in that kind of light, but now that you mention it, I can't really seem to sort my feelings out..." She explained slowly, looking up at him nervously.

Kai searched her face again, and this time, she knew he was trying to search for her feelings.

"It's alright, I understand." He finally said after a moment. "I wasn't expecting you to tell me immediately either."

Kai knew that Misaki was a rather cautious person. She would rather look into things and pick out the pros and cons and whatnot, before figuring them out slowly, then rushing straight into them like Kamui would. Although, he wasn't really expecting to confess to her today, it just so happened that he had bumped into her, and then things just happened.

"It's late, we should get going." He commented as he stood up. "It isn't safe for you to go back alone so I'll walk you home."

She tried to protest against that, she sweared she did, but when Kai decided on something, it was hard to dissuade him from doing what he wanted to do.

When they finally reached her place, Misaki checked the windows and doors to see if anyone was there before turning to Kai, who was about to leave.

"I'm sorry that I can't tell you about how I feel at the moment," she mumbled quietly. "But honestly speaking I feel that you're different from the rest, so perhaps…" Tiptoeing, she kissed him lightly on the cheek and then smiled a little at his taken a back expression. Not every day did anyone get to see Kai Toshiki in shock.

"Ah, well." The hazel coloured hair boy fumbled with his words a little as he looked away. Misaki wondered if there was a hint of red on his cheeks, but the night was too dark to tell. "I guess I'll see you tomorrow then." He mumbled as he walked away.

Throwing her jacket unto the chair as she entered the room, the sixteen year old girl twirled around and then flopped unto her bed. For the first time since she had started playing vanguard, there was a warm funny feeling within her. It felt good, though she wasn't sure why. Maybe his confession, his feelings, they were a good thing.

Kai Toshiki… Perhaps, just perhaps…

For the first time that Autumn, Misaki slept peacefully.


End file.
